Ramblings of an Imperfect Man 31

I am always looking to find the positivie things each and every day as I go through my daily routine. I am pretty vanilla when it comes to my daily tasks, not much exciting goes on. I look at life as a step by step journey, being an observer of the things around me.

Last week, I became overwhelmed with everything that hits us. Being just like everyone else, I look at the monthly budget and the monthly income and become discouraged. I look at dealing with medical bills, and curse myself for becoming dependant on modern medicine and the daily regiment of pills twice a day that has become and will always be a part of my life. Looking at sales and feeling totally responsible for allowing my sales team the chance to make a decent paycheck. by Thursday, I finally threw my hands up in the air and yelled, " I give up!" It is amazing, how you isolate yourself when things are not going that great. I stand and stare at the pills I have to take in the morning and have a great debate with myself to force the issue and just take them.

I think I will go out and buy a megabucks ticket, maybe I will win and at least some of the stress will go away. A megabucks winner, yup that is what I need to become. Then it hit me, like a Mac truck speeding down the highway.

Megabucks is six numbers with a bonus number to win. I have six numbers and a bonus in my life already. One is my wife, who firmly and quietly reminds me to suck it up and get over it. Second, is my oldest daugther Dori, who whenver she calls has joy in her voice. Third, my oldest son, Dusty, whose zest for doing every crazy marathon tough guy competition and event possible, allows me to enjoy life through him. Fourth, my youngest son, Stephen, whose steadfastness and continuity in his life says life is simple if you keep it that way. Fifth, is my youngest daughter, Samantha, who has shown me that no one can walk on you. Her zeal for independance and determination to stand on her own, reminds me that life is worth fighting for. Sixth, is my inlaws, Roger and Joanne, who when ever I see them or talk to them on the phone, I wonder how we ever get a conversation in because we laugh the whole time. The bonus number is Duke and Champ, whose simple request is play time for Duke with a tennis ball and lap time for Champ.

At the clinic where I go for routine check ups, I see the emptiness who are far worse off than I am. I wonder what there support system is like. I often think that the pain in their eyes is not only physical but a sense of loneliness as they face the battle on their own.

So as my wife would say, "suck it up!" We knew that would be good days and bad days and we will always get through them. You think I would remember that with all the years we have been together. We certainly have survived alot of hurdles together.

No, while the money might be nice. I already have the winning numbers in my life. I am a megabucks winner, and the rewards cannot bemeasured in dollars and cents.